Scars & Tattoos: Survivor’s Love


I cannot explain the source of this desire,

this yearning,

of this visceral longing

to lay by your side

in those frail

positive arms

finding home and comfort

in the small of your chest

as if it were a compound

I’d yearned for my entire

life.

It’s as if I had never

lived before your laugh

and I know that isn’t true. You’re

not the source of my brilliance,

my beauty,

my resilience.

No.

You are simply the place where I

am no longer required to

be

all of those things at once

for everyone

for proof

of my worthiness

for protection of my body

mind

work

and sanity.

I cannot comprehend why

or how, I find solace in your fickle embrace. Your

chest could very well collapse under the full weight of

my flesh. Your arms may give way to gravity and inertia

as I fall from the stairs of your enclave. But I

sense home in you. No theory

or unpacking

can articulate the lurch to your presence.

Perhaps it is the kindred nature of

our survival stories.

Your scars know mine by name, location and formation.

(Y)our small frame betrays the strength situated deep within (y)our spirit/s

Maybe that is the fulcrum.

We both know the cost of living.

Your scars trace my journey to and from home.

Your T-Cells remind me of the daggers lodged within my body

and your sexual practice functions

as a fucking of a system

that thirsts for your death.

Liberatory fucking.

Caramel skinned with ebony politics

and passions that burn crimson.

Tattoos from the AfroLatino & BlaQueer Diaspors

you two step, tip-toe, bachata and meringue

through the flows of survivance

the throws of intersectional, compounded

existences that are known to the soul

but foreign to the tongue.

You

song of love and war

of life and death

of here and nowhere.

Within exists the promise

of a tomorrow

whose name we dare not speak.

That is why I love you,

you

a potpourri

of heroics, trauma and innovative

love strokes.

unnamed (3)

Follow Tabias Olajuawon on Twitter @BlaQueerFlow. Like our page on Facebook at BlaQueerFlow & Tabias Olajuawon Wilson.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. rainawareness says:

    So, I’m assuming you were just casually grinding on a rock in your business casual c:

    Like

  2. bdotharrison says:

    This was absolutely great, I loved the imagery; your words really told the truth about how you feel in that moment. Your vulnerability was beautiful- great post.

    Like

    1. blaqueerflow says:

      As always, your comments keep me smiling.

      Liked by 1 person

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