Michael Is Your Brother, And His Cock Is Detained


As I sit here and cook my pasta, lamenting what I could’ve done better this last semester, I think of Michael Johnson. I think of how life could’ve easily dealt us different cards. Instead of awaiting scholarship notifications and rushing to publish pieces on race, law and sexuality and–ironically HIV Criminalization–I could be in solitary confinement, for the crime of having modern sex, while HIV positive. These are the moments that give me pause, take my breathe and rearrange my life. Is there not fortune enough, for blacks folks, to go around where we can have a seat at the table of opportunity? Is there not love enough among black folks, that the virally criminalized are not articulated or noted among the dead, hunted and marked black lives that matter? Is there pride, community and fierce cunt realness enough among the Queer, Trans* & Same/Multiple Gender Loving set that we cannot muster a death drop, a mic check, a stone wall of community, reflection and liberation to see ourselves in his marked, maimed and monstered & mandigoed body? My people, folks of conscious, the chains won’t stop at Michaels cock. They are coming for you. Dead, alive or indifferent. The time to….feel, weep, fight, gasp, acknowledge and fuck shit up is right now…..

Each of us are Michael, and Michael is us as well. In his deep, mahogany flesh exist the trials and triumphs of the ancestors. There are tails and molecular memories of loss and love. There writings and imprints of brotherhood and betrayal. Our bodies carry the secrets of history, of ancestry, that our tongues cannot express and our souls keep hidden for the fear of the inadequacies of our minds to comprehend and reckon with extent and depth of trauma undefined. In Michael, we have allowed our fears to personified. Not simply the fears of acquiring; or as some folks imagine “someone giving” you HIV. Neither is it the deranged notion of a sexual or viral predator on the loose, searching for you, lurking just beyond the corner. No, most of us are not paranoid enough to continuously ponder that, and there lies our fears and insecurities. That we ourselves are not enough. Michael has been perverted to re-present a space without (state) control or protection. More viscerally, he has been weaponized into a creeping reminder/warning of what would happen without laws that regulate and criminalize the lives of particular, otherized, people. He is not only a warning–as many HIV Survivors have been through space and time–of the consequences of sexual freedom deviance, but a validator of the need for state and cultural sexual control protection from of particular people.

I can think of many things more dangerous than contracting HIV. Chief among them is the belief that the state–through it’s criminalization, stigmatization and dehumanization practices–will ever protect you, from anything. Except perhaps, truth, love, wholeheartedness and independence.

HIV Neutral

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s