Caitlyn’s Calvary: The Gays, Gaze & Whiteness On Fleek


No cis person can articulate the internal traumas

of a person in transition

whether physically or internally

because the pain and societal

dismemberment of existing

in a space where your gender performance and identity

are read as misplaced because your organs won’t confirm

or confirm

to society’s rules of gender-sexual circumcisions required for a passport

to humanity. Cis folks, my folks, these folks and many queer folks will

never know the pain of the scalpel unraveling, undoing, re-pasting, without consent

notions of them, theirs, her, he, zhe, they…

because we–the gender conformers–have always been in line with the biological and sociological unholy union between genders, sex, sexuality, realities, performances, identities and belonging

Despite the fact that we stay longing

for a moment of communion with our real selves

ourselves

our

selves

but we stay scared so we becomes sociopolitical surgeons

not doctors

just performers of surgeries on the bodies

of the othered

that may allow us to be seen and perceived as normal,

beautiful

supreme.

We are emotional and psychological terorrists,

vain,

coloring ourselves as the conscious and concerned while

simultaneously dismembering trans*gressors of hegemonic

gender divisions,

segregations

apartheids.

But Caitlyn has a cavalry.

Whiteness comes and cleans sociocultural

stains of difference,

it disinfects the blood let from the

scalpel and allows

the flesh to instead to become a cloth,

a cleaning

cloaking

cloth

that leaves it’s covering of whiteness

remaining pristine as a proof

of it’s universal powers of redemption,

its station as savior

and it’s function of black

brown

color’d

erasures.

Caitlyn’s Calvary comes in full force and

not all of her soldiers are born white

or right

of queer.

Many are black with white swords,

supremacist smiles and wintry-cold eyes

that disallow them to see trans* folk of color

as human

at all

ever. They gays  of Caitlyns calvary note their own redemption

in their ability to receiver her as human,

this time,

as if this recognition erases their erasure

of black & brown trans* flesh

gnashed

slashed

strangled

in their presence

by their essence

and investments

in gender-normativity as an innate proclivity in all who deserve to live

unbought

unbossed

and unkilled. Black gays,

black gaze, celebrating Caitlyn in morning

but have no time for mourning their sistahs

Lamia Beard

Taja Dajesus

Penny Proud

Ty Underwood

Yazmine Vash Payne

Maya Shawatza

not to mention those who die

livin’ in the open-air prisons

of our

internal-inhumanities

privileges

unleashed.

Will you have time in the morning,

to stop killing

those who don’t

have a calvary

or whiteness

on fleek?

If not,

could you please

at the least

repurpose your sword?

Follow Tabias Olajuawon on Twitter @BlaQueerFlow. Like our page on Facebook at BlaQueerFlow & Tabias Olajuawon Wilson.

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